Monday, May 15, 2006

I love the smell of peanut butter in the morning

I believe a great philosopher once said "I hate mieces to pieces" I can't remember if it was Socrates or Plato.

Following my last post about 'roaches I thought I'd better bring you all up to speed on my latest domestic struggle. I have mice! Now you maybe forgiven in thinking that I've moved to down town Delhi what with the cockroaches and now the mice but no, I'm still in good ol' Australia waiting for an outbreak of Cholera or Beri-Beri. Though, you do need water for Cholera, with the fact that Oz has bugger all of that there is slim chance. Im waiting for Bono and Geldof to turn up with 'aid' though I'd rather die of thirst than let Bono help me out, but thats another story.
The problem with Mice is the fact that 'ridding' them goes against my natural instinct because they are nice and furry aaahhhh... the fact is however is that they are far more likely to inadvertantly burn my house down chewing electrical wires than the cockroach that is merely a little 'gross' So they kinda make up the 'yin and yang' of household pests good bless 'em

Steps have been taken and make no mistake. Last night I claimed my first kill. After purchasing a couple of mouse traps from the local store I decided to 'go to work' especailly as these little rodents show me no respect. I mean, the gall of them, last night we watched three dart from one end of the kitchen to the other. It was about 10.30 when my wife saw one run across the hall, it was about 10.31 I heard the most satifying sound of the evening, the snap of the mouse trap. In the morning there were 2 more casualties. It appears these guys just cannot resist peanut butter. Now everynight is like Christmas Eve when you're a kid, I just cant wait 'til the morning to see what father Christ-mouse has left me.

Casa Del Rodente

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

"Watching Roches Climb the Wall..."

As Australian As Vegemite....Unfortunatly

No this entry really isn't for the squeemish, I count myself in that statement but unfortunatly someone has to write it.

Now, predictably when I told people about my Australian adventure their first reaction to tell me stories about funnel-web spiders, redback spiders and snakes of all descriptions. Plus, obviously the old favourite. Check under the toilet seats before you 'go' as there is a spider that lurks under the seat....excellent!

I've been here for 5 months now and I'm yet to see a snake (and by god i've looked foolishly enough) and still no sign of a spider that will quite literally 'tear me a new one' Yeah I've seen some beauties, but these are orb weaving and St Andrews Cross spiders. They are big but not in the 'furry' category. Seriously, when I arrived here I thought I'd be barackading the door shut just to keep them all out if the stories were anything to go by.

This isnt to say we havnt come across a few nasties. You get told about the stuff that will kill you but you dont get told about pretty much everyother insect which has a chip on its shoulder, these guys are angry and make no mistake.

Never again I'm I gonna complain about red ants “oooooo they bite” news flash peeps, all ants in Oz bite, you just count your blessings you're not bitten by fireants!.

The clear winner in the 'Im gonna gross you out so you don't sleep' award is the Australian Cockroach. There is something inately discomforting about a cockroach, I try and think of it as a big beetle but it just doesnt work. Perhaps its because back home in the UK we're use to see them on 'fly on the wall' (did you see what i did there) documentries about dodgy flats and restaurants, they are just synonomous with filth. You try and keep the house pristine but there is no rhyme or reason to the cockroach its just wonders in when you least expect it. Someone said to us if we were just getting one a week we were doing well! Im not just being a 'girl' here folks these guys get a good two and a half inches in length and man, can they move! In a weird way its this that draws the eye as you catch it make the 100M sprint across the hall. These things a certianly not pretty, even less so once they've seen the wrong side of my adidas I can tell you. But even when you clout it, it STILL runs the gauntlet mocking you as it goes.

Yep unfortunately they are Australian as the BBQ, the beach and Vegimite.

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