Jayce Down Under

As Australian As Vegemite....Unfortunatly

No this entry really isn't for the squeemish, I count myself in that statement but unfortunatly someone has to write it.

Now, predictably when I told people about my Australian adventure their first reaction to tell me stories about funnel-web spiders, redback spiders and snakes of all descriptions. Plus, obviously the old favourite. Check under the toilet seats before you 'go' as there is a spider that lurks under the seat....excellent!

I've been here for 5 months now and I'm yet to see a snake (and by god i've looked foolishly enough) and still no sign of a spider that will quite literally 'tear me a new one' Yeah I've seen some beauties, but these are orb weaving and St Andrews Cross spiders. They are big but not in the 'furry' category. Seriously, when I arrived here I thought I'd be barackading the door shut just to keep them all out if the stories were anything to go by.

This isnt to say we havnt come across a few nasties. You get told about the stuff that will kill you but you dont get told about pretty much everyother insect which has a chip on its shoulder, these guys are angry and make no mistake.

Never again I'm I gonna complain about red ants “oooooo they bite” news flash peeps, all ants in Oz bite, you just count your blessings you're not bitten by fireants!.

The clear winner in the 'Im gonna gross you out so you don't sleep' award is the Australian Cockroach. There is something inately discomforting about a cockroach, I try and think of it as a big beetle but it just doesnt work. Perhaps its because back home in the UK we're use to see them on 'fly on the wall' (did you see what i did there) documentries about dodgy flats and restaurants, they are just synonomous with filth. You try and keep the house pristine but there is no rhyme or reason to the cockroach its just wonders in when you least expect it. Someone said to us if we were just getting one a week we were doing well! Im not just being a 'girl' here folks these guys get a good two and a half inches in length and man, can they move! In a weird way its this that draws the eye as you catch it make the 100M sprint across the hall. These things a certianly not pretty, even less so once they've seen the wrong side of my adidas I can tell you. But even when you clout it, it STILL runs the gauntlet mocking you as it goes.

Yep unfortunately they are Australian as the BBQ, the beach and Vegimite.

# posted by Jay : 10:30 AM